I am so confused about this whole process. I don't understand why my IUI was timed the way it was. I got LH surge on OPK at 6am and called the nurse, she scheduled the IUI for 11 am the next day and 11 am the following day. Doesn't that mean we missed the window? Also, my RE is not monitoring my bloodwork and has never done an U/S so how do they even know if I have good follies? My husbands S/A is only about 5-10% or 8 million washed, so what is the point in doing clomid/ IUI anyway? I thought that was considered severe male factor infertility and they would do IVF/ICSI.
I know that I am whining, I just think the 2ww is getting to me, and I still have another week to go. I took a HPT today on my lunch break (can you say obsessed), but it is only 8 days past O, so it was a BFN of course. I wish I hadn't done it though, I never ever want to see a BFN again. DH and I stopped trying for a few years, and the thought of seeing another BFN probably postponed getting back on the TTC train for a while. I just need to relax and get out of my head. I'm driving myself insane.
It was really good to hear that Katie got a BFP. That is the first BFP since I joined this board, so I am really happy for her. It restored my hope a little bit. (Thanks Katie)
My interest are really sparked with this OV watch, it sounds like a good scheme, a company preying on people who are going through a very difficult time, but what if?
Ok, I'm done rambling.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
TTC Obsession
Ok, So DH and I got back on the TTC wagon this month.
Since our RE appointment February 17, I have barely been able to think about anything else. Beginning Feb. 18 I started "nesting", I cleaned every freaking thing in my house from the ceilings down to the floors, inside and underneath everything. I threw away/ gave away over 20 large garden bags full of stuff. That worked as a distraction for a while, but there is nothing left in my house, it is empty and spotless. So for the past 4-5 weeks I honestly have not been able to spend more that 5 minutes focusing on anything. I am right now 8 days past O and the thought of waiting another week to do HPT is driving me crazy, but even more than that, the thought of getting a BFN (which I anticipate) and doing this whole process over again next month, and the damn waiting, Its driving me crazy.
My company really starts to pick up this time of year, and my work load increases drastically over the next few weeks and continues for 8 months. I can not focus on work at all. I spend the majority of my work hours reading about IF on the internet, early signs of PG, RE's, differnet treatments, IUI, IVF, ICSI. And as of late, I discovered the WebMD chat rooms, and many wonderful people, and of course this blogspot, and I am spending all of my days reading the stories of many of the women who are going through this as well. Some of them are very encouraging, but in truth, it is just feeding my obsession. I'm not sure how you all do it. If anyone out there has any tools or tricks for putting the TTC wait time out of your mind, please, let me know.
Since our RE appointment February 17, I have barely been able to think about anything else. Beginning Feb. 18 I started "nesting", I cleaned every freaking thing in my house from the ceilings down to the floors, inside and underneath everything. I threw away/ gave away over 20 large garden bags full of stuff. That worked as a distraction for a while, but there is nothing left in my house, it is empty and spotless. So for the past 4-5 weeks I honestly have not been able to spend more that 5 minutes focusing on anything. I am right now 8 days past O and the thought of waiting another week to do HPT is driving me crazy, but even more than that, the thought of getting a BFN (which I anticipate) and doing this whole process over again next month, and the damn waiting, Its driving me crazy.
My company really starts to pick up this time of year, and my work load increases drastically over the next few weeks and continues for 8 months. I can not focus on work at all. I spend the majority of my work hours reading about IF on the internet, early signs of PG, RE's, differnet treatments, IUI, IVF, ICSI. And as of late, I discovered the WebMD chat rooms, and many wonderful people, and of course this blogspot, and I am spending all of my days reading the stories of many of the women who are going through this as well. Some of them are very encouraging, but in truth, it is just feeding my obsession. I'm not sure how you all do it. If anyone out there has any tools or tricks for putting the TTC wait time out of your mind, please, let me know.
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